Jay Heinrichs on the difference between fighting and arguing, and why he’s spent years teaching his kids to argue effectively:

I had long equated arguing with fighting, but in rhetoric they are very different things. An argument is good; a fight is not. Whereas the goal of a fight is to dominate your opponent, in an argument you succeed when you bring your audience over to your side. A dispute over territory in the backseat of a car qualifies as an argument, for example, in the unlikely event that one child attempts to persuade his audience rather than slug it.

I share his disappointment in our culture’s fear of a good, constructive argument. It’s reason and good argumentation that can help produce the best work, yet it’s all too common that we shy away and do only things that will be least likely to rub people the wrong way for fear of argument.