Balancing Work and Life… and Life… and Life. Is Life Work?
People talk about balancing work and life as if there are two things to be concerned with, and if you’re able to balance those, you’ll be all set and happy. Now, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like that’s an overly-simplistic model. I feel like I have worklife, life at home, life with the web community, singing life, life with college friends, life with old friends, and then the remaining catch-all “life.” Each may have different priorities, but they are all liable to conflict with any of the others at some point, and it can get to be a bit overwhelming, especially if you feel like none of them deserve to be neglected.
I don’t have the answers, necessarily, but I definitely feel like I have to address this, and maybe just writing this will help. This past weekend, I had a three hour burst where I missed a friend’s film screening, another friend’s birthday party, yet another friend’s birthday, realized I wouldn’t get to the gym that day (I’d been good lately), I’d screwed up dinner, I’ve not yet returned my CableCards to Comcast since the last move, and been remiss on returning a close friend’s call for two months. It was an awesome little stretch of time.
It probably comes down to organization in one sense or another, but treating non-worklife like a project manager has just always seemed a little uptight to me. I have a gut feeling that I want to be accessible or available to my close friends, family, and girlfriend whenever, so scheduling and tasking myself to meet up with someone for coffee just seems impersonal and overkill. Are you marginalized if your friend takes out a notebook to remember to meet up with you?
Some of my friends are list-maniacs. I imagine them waking up and making a list of everything that needs to happen that day, and they probably don’t stop until they’ve at least addressed everything on the list. Super-productive people, those list-maniacs, but also a little OCD, no?
I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping things straight (notice, I said straight, not necessarily organized) at the office. But should the other facets of my life function like a business? Maybe the answer is yes, and I need to just adjust how I think about it and fall into line. Maybe the alternative is ditching things entirely, which isn’t an attractive option either.
Or maybe I just need to look into Provigil. That’d be super unlike me, but the benefits are getting tougher and tougher to overlook :P
I wouldn’t take anything in that provigil article very seriously. It was written by a pot-stirring columnist for an English tabloid, first of all, and his account doesn’t agree with other reports. Most likely, he was simply sleep-deprived and could have gotten similar effects, without the side effects, from simply getting a good night’s sleep. Provigil’s really more for people who need to remain alert for long stretches of time, but not necessarily remain able to function at a high level. For example, troops on an overnight march could benefit, but it wouldn’t help a stock broker or scientist, because those people need a high level of intelligence, not simply alertness.
If you’d like to know more about the idea of nootropics(including drugs, supplements and other nutrients), I recommend Smart Drugs and Nutrients.
I struggled with the same issue for years, and went through tons of personal organization systems and list-keepers in the process. In the end, I realized that I had to make lists to keep my to-dos in order because I simply didn’t want to do some of them, and I’d assumed a system would somehow guilt me into productivity.
I guess this is the core of stuff like Inbox Zero and some aspects of GTD, where you have to decide you’ll ever actually want to respond to that email/finish that post/shop for the perfect end-table, and quickly find a way to put the offending distraction out of sight and mind.
I suppose this comment weighs on the side of “ditching things,” if only because I feel I reached a line past which organization systems couldn’t push me to structure my life. For some people, hyper-listing things may just be a way to get around their unwillingness to actually do them, which makes a decent case for ditching a few items altogether.
How did I miss this before?! Nothing wrong with a little OCD.
But really, the irony is that I’m a total ENTP and hate being scheduled. Contrary to popular belief, list making is a major stress reliever. I put my tasks - or musings and observations - down on paper and out of my head so that I can focus on the moment and people in front of me. My lists are much less about schedules as much as they are about idea management. Everyone has their own style.